I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about people in my life, reflecting I suppose. Those that have come and gone. Those that I think about and miss, our relationship damaged. I think about the people I count on, who are still with me. There are those close to me who have weathered the storm with me by understanding they do not have the power to fix me. I think about the new friends I have made and wonder how I can be a good friend to them? I think about Father Time and what a thief he really is… I can’t buy back lost time.
There is a lesson that I have indeed learned, and that is, I am taking back my power! I have said my apologies for my past behavior; most, not all, of it stemming from poor health. I have been very open and answered any questions, no matter how personal, asked of me … this has all been a lesson in futility. Circumstances remain the same. Opinions aren’t easily changed. So it is time for me to let go of these relationships because I have the power to choose that option.
I had tried to move on before and was unsuccessful. Systematic thought pattern always got in my way. This time I will break through those patterns. I will no longer dwell on what was, and I will live for what is because I feel the value of my life. I have done my soul searching and grieved for those I have lost, and those still distant. I believe with all my heart, I have traveled down every avenue, I have tried to make things right.
I begin living in the present. I work to somehow ‘right the wrongs’ of my past limited knowledge with what I can now achieve in the present. I am choosing the relationships I have now. You may now consider it a privilege to be in my life. This privilege is not guaranteed. The past has been stealing my happiness, and I will not allow this anymore. Those in my present deserve all of my time and effort. I will give them all I can. Today, I am going to unwrap my present.