I think I’m going to Snap!

It is Sunday, a beautiful Sunday morning! I am so tense, so anxiety-ridden, I feel like I am going to start screaming and not be able to stop!  This is what it feels like when you have gone through a fibro flare and are now returning to manageable pain. The rescue medications you took during your flare causes this anxiety once you stop taking the opioids you needed for the pain during the flare. Your body wants more…


At least, this is how I feel and this makes me want to take more rescue medications so I don’t have to feel like this, but I never do. I won’t. Why? Because it would be too easy and too habitual to reach for that opioid to ease “feelings” instead of pain. Here in lies the difference between an addict and a chronic pain patient.

Now, on the flip side who am I to judge? Maybe you need to take something for anxiety, depression, pain, on a consistent basis and those medications may be opioid-based. That is for you and your doctor to decide. I take prescription medications daily, but nothing that packs a punch like my rescue medications. When the pain is bad … so are my meds! Here is the real kicker … I am running out of medical options to relieve my daily pain and anxiety! My restless legs and exhaustion are also daily battles. My depression is still manageable with the antidepressants I use. But the rest … all becoming null and void.

I have been on medications for 20 years, my system is beginning to just ‘ignore’ the presence of the medications I take. (And I was freaking out over antibiotic over-use!) I have to figure out how to manage my pain that occurs every day, without my regular medications! How do I do this without ending up in a puddle on the floor in pain?

I do not have the answer. Yet.

I have been researching hemp oil that does not contain THC. When you think of marijuana, you think of getting high. The high that comes from smoking a joint is the amount of THC in the type of marijuana you use. Hemp oil, at least the kind I am going to try, has no THC in it. It does have naturally occurring compounds that reduce pain, stress, and anxiety. Will it work? I have absolutely no idea! But I hope it will…

This Sunday morning, as I sat in a dark corner of the room trying to stifle the feeling of wanting to scream… I decided enough is enough. I have done my research! I have read numerous pros and cons of hemp oil use! There is no way to know if this will work until I try it. I went to the computer and I ordered myself some hemp oil from a company I can honestly say seems to know what they are talking about. They have been going strong for 35 years. That says something to me.

Here goes nothing.

IMG_0246 (1)~Kim

UPDATE: I tried the oil and a vape pen. I do believe there was some benefit but not enough relief to make another expensive purchase. So, I will continue to search. I will find an oil that works for me or a vape pen… I think I will go to a dispensary next time. I believe I will find the right oil to make this an acceptable alternative to my current medication. Wish me luck!

(Pick Your Box)

16 thoughts on “I think I’m going to Snap!

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  1. Sounds like a tough day for you. I hope the cannibis oil helps. It is sure worth a try. What do you take during your flares that is so difficult when you quit taking it? I am having a pretty good day actually. Cleaning lady, Sheri, is here so that always makes me feel good when the cabin is cleaned. I bought a couple more plants for my deck. It is looking festive now with all the flowers. Getting our cabin painted which starts next week and finally found someone to wash all the windows outside. We have 2 stories and a build up so the windows are 3 stories up. Yikes. More than we can manage. Hope you are feeling better soon. Take care.

    On Jul 16, 2017 9:23 AM, “I tripped over a Stone.” wrote:

    > I tripped over a stone. posted: “It is Sunday, a beautiful Sunday morning! > I am so tense, so anxiety ridden, I feel like I am going to start screaming > and not be able to stop! This is what it feels like when you have gone > through a fibro flare and are now returning to manageable pain. T” >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Karen! Nice to see you on my blog!!! I love that you buy flowers and have a cleaning lady! You inspire me! I take rescue medications, I consider opioids rescue medications. Some folks, take them on a regular basis but I worked very hard to get off all norcos for regular pain, and when I go on for a few days because of a flare – then off, I get very agitated. I know that is the withdrawal from the norcos… but my doctor is ready to prescribe some on a regular basis but I have been there, done that! I want to try some alternatives before I decided to make those medications part of my schedule of medications. They work at low doses for me NOW, when I need them for pain. I want to keep it that way! So fingers crossed for the hemp oil. ~Kim


  2. I hope the hemp oil helps. I tried it with no success. I resorted to making my own cannibus oil. But it has a lot of THC, and it’s illegal. But it helps. A lot. I use it often for nausea and vomiting, an amazing difference. I don’t like feeling high, so when I take enough for bad pain, I usually go to sleep. Often I take it so I can sleep.
    I really hope the hemp oil helps you.
    Have you heard of Kratom? I tried it once, but it caused vertigo in me. Hard to know what to do?. What to try? What’s safe?
    If they’d just legalize it we wouldn’t have this issue.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I sure hope so. I understand what works for you will probably not work for me. I have not tried Kratom but have read a lot about it. I’m not ready to take that jump yet, too many unknowns. I am just ready to try some alternative things Wen. My doctor is willing to go to heavier medications to treat my daily symptoms but I am not. I get too foggy and sleepy. (Been there done that.) So I’ll try a few different routes before I go with heavier meds. I am just not ruling anything out right now! Tired of feeling so agitated! Even my jaw hurts from clenching my teeth. Argh! Frustrating. ~Kim


  3. I so hope that the oil helps. I actually just net someone the other day who was talking about this. My mother suffers from a terrible neuropathy and the meds just don’t work for her now. I was contemplating buying this for her, too, so I’m very curious to see if you have any luck. She can’t / won’t have anything with THC either. Please post about your results whenever you try this out. Very best of luck to you! Joanna

    Liked by 1 person

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