Male and female role reversals? Yep! Nope! Well, maybe. It just depends…
The gender-neutral alibi comes into play here. We are not defined by our gender! Let’s reminisce … The man is the breadwinner, and the woman is the homemaker, and we are in the early 1950’s. Face it, ladies, feminism happened. The one income family home ceased to exist. But what ‘rights’ we acquired (courtesy of feminism) in the big, dangerous Working World of Man was we had a paying job to go to. But the workload of the woman never changed in the home.
Don’t get me wrong, feminism has its upside. Women can vote, go to college, demand equal rights, and with great enthusiasm Mic Online reports as of 2017 women make 77 cents for every dollar earned by a man! (I don’t see a reason to celebrate that but, I guess that’s an outstanding statistic to mention?) Women can make their abusers, even if they are married to them, and rapists face criminal charges. (That is a bonus, I am serious.) Women can own land – oops that already happened in New Orleans during the antebellum period before the Civil War.
Let’s get on to the present, the woman now gets to go to work outside the home! Then she comes home and cleans the house, make meals, does the laundry and raises the children. Yes, we are players in the Working World of Man but was it worth it? Was it? I think, maybe yes, to some of it. I’ll leave the rest up to you to decide.
Rumored role reversals are running rampant in the world of chronic illness. And they are true. Gender roles are not only questioned, they downright do not exist! If you are going to maintain a relationship those generic female/male roles we used to live by are out!
I can no longer hold down a salaried job, grocery shop, cook, keep a clean house and get the laundry done. I am not physically able. My husband can do all of those things! He has in the past, he did two weeks ago when I had a flare, and he will do it again in the future because this little thing I have is a chronic pain disease!
My husband is a man’s man. He likes to work on cars and listen to loud music and watch westerns! He is also extremely intelligent. He watches business shows about stock trades and the FOREX market. He day trades and is a driver but has been taking courses to make him an even better trader. He also is setting up a planner for 2018 that will include his hours, what housework he will complete each day and a list of any additional tasks I need him to do…
I feel GUILTY! He says there is no room for guilt in our relationship, no one did anything wrong. I’m allowed to clean a room a day if I feel up to it. I am not allowed to do the laundry. I have a balance problem and falling down basement stairs with a basket of clothes in your hands is, I’ve been told, incredibly freaky to witness. I may cook one meal but no more power cooking like I used to do, and we should make meals together – he says! I order the groceries, pay the bills, and do our taxes. My husband has no desire to do those three things and has made that clear. I can handle this!
So, my husband will work two jobs (because one job is never enough to support two people) and take care of the majority of the household chores. I shall continue to try to be well enough to help him. I will order the groceries, and it should be noted that includes take-out! I will keep the books and do the taxes. Gender roles? Not in this house!