Before I tripped Over a Stone, Fridays, #3

I started writing about the topic of domestic violence that I had experienced (almost 30  years ago) three weeks ago. I have noticed that I have been experiencing some memories that I thought had been long forgotten. Certain smells, songs, even a knock at the door have been a bit alarming, so I am going to round out today’s post and end this story.

If you want to catch up, I will post the links to the previous two posts, but first I must start with this;

Warning: Domestic Violence Content.

For your review:

According to the Huffington Post; The number of American troops killed in Afganistan between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current (or ex) male partners during that time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the number of casualties lost during those years of the war.  

Women are much more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence with 85% of domestic abuse victims being women and 15% men. Too many have been held captive by domestic violence – whether through physical abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, or a combination or all three.

I was finally out of “R’s” grasp and safe at the women’s center on campus. There was no more time to waste. I would be going into hiding. Everything I had prepared would need to be left behind. I needed to disappear now. Paula helped me make some awkward phone calls, and I got in my car and drove to my parent’s home.

The sheriff was called so the protective order could be carried over into the county I was now residing. My car was hidden, and I moved into a basement room, much more secure and out of sight than my original bedroom. I was offered a ticket to Boston to stay with a family member, and my job would be cleaning airplanes. BUT. I had one class left on campus and an internship I could complete from anywhere. Three more months and I would graduate. I stayed.

I would drive different cars (never my own) every week to campus. A security guard would meet me. He would walk me to class and then from class, back to my car. My professor knew what was going on so I interned in a different city and he would meet me at random restaurants to discuss my assignments and review the ones I had mailed in for him. I got my diploma!

Things didn’t go quite that smoothly, but I got through it. There was a lot of emotional turmoil, mental anguish, embarrassment, and difficult experiences even after leaving “R.”

But I made it!

Shortly after I graduated, I started working for the Region IV Council on Domestic Violence. I was a court advocate for women and men who were experiencing domestic violence as well as an advocate for a woman’s shelter. I worked with that program for a little over a year. I loved working for the Region IV Council. However, I knew I needed to make a change for a bit. For my own mental health and a much-needed change of pace.

I moved to Minneapolis and started working as a mental health counselor with mentally challenged adults. It was a very different change of pace! I would go through much needed emotional healing as I met new co-workers and cared for these people I worked with that were so vulnerable.

I had made a healthy decision, it was a good change. I remained in touch with Paula.

I was free!

(Continued, Before I tripped #4)


  • Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233
  • TTY 1-800-787-3224

23 thoughts on “Before I tripped Over a Stone, Fridays, #3

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      1. I guess you could miss them out Kim. I let my sisters read mine before I published but they were happy about being included and I did not need to edit further. I am so glad you enjoyed my memoir. Would you be able to write an Amazon Review? It all helps.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Kim, I know this had to be hard to share and probably dredged up memories you’d rather leave buried, but I’m sure that by sharing your story, you’re bringing hope and healing to others who have experienced domestic violence. Blessings to you sweet friend!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so glad you shared this story as you already know I can relate to your hard times. Your strength, courage and grace is incredibly inspiring. This story you shared makes me feel so close to you and I feel your pain deeply in my heart! I am SO glad you made it out of this terrible situation safely and I am so glad you are happy now! You are one of the most amazing people I know. Sending you SO much love and comfort always!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The resurfacing of old stuff is actually healing even though it doesn’t feel like it! But I totally understand the need to finish the story and get out of there! It was very brave of you to tell it. And brace to have lived it. So many never leave, I’m glad you got out.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was really surprised at how fresh some of the wounds felt. I think as this happened in my 20’s I look at my grown nieces and know what I’d do if this was happening to them… it would be my worst nightmare but I would get them out of that situation! So, I am glad to hear it is healing for me to have some emotions resurface, probably some additional truths I needed to face about my time with “R”.

      Liked by 1 person

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