Kill the Cobra!

So… the hubby and I are both working from home now. How nice, right? We have a strong relationship! I love him! I couldn’t imagine a day without him, but this is incredibly ‘different.’

He has begun day trading, “options.” I know about trading Forex, I am at a bit of a disadvantage with all his talk on options. Calls, puts, strike prices and so damn much more. I’m learning, but it is overwhelming for me right now. The hubby is overwhelming me this week, and he is aware of it which makes it worse in my mind.

I am a cobra! I am quick to bite! I strike when I lose my cool and call him out on even breathing too heavy. Not cool of me! I speak, and then I apologize. I am being a jerk and don’t know what my problem is… it feels like there isn’t enough energy in the room for the both of us. Every movement he makes startles me!

The beauty of this arrangement is that he can help me on my difficult days. Most of my days have been difficult as I am struggling to get my strength back from a long period of illnesses. I am grateful for his help! He cooks, does laundry and takes care of the dogs. He loads and unloads the dishwasher and cleans the bathroom. My gawd, how did I get so lucky? What do I do? Act like a Cobra and strike!

We are working on boundaries. Maybe this is a good thing as we plan to make our move to an RV this summer if the trading goes as planned, and we become mobile enough to make this kind of attempt. I need to watch my tongue. I have a hard time accepting that I can say mean things to the man I love. I really love that he is able to be home and I really love that he really has a knack for trading. I want this to be successful! Then I open my big mouth and bite!

I believe it goes back to the “lack of energy” available in the room where we are both pounding on our computers. We both are trying to talk or listen to our own music. Headphones have helped, but they don’t solve everything. My husband is a very empathic man! This makes him everything he is to me. The only downside is when I wake up like a cobra and he feels my wrath. I need to find a way to kill the cobra.

Are any of you currently home with your spouse all day long? How do you separate work time from social time? Do you have any boundaries in place? How do I kill the cobra?




35 thoughts on “Kill the Cobra!

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    1. Well, I appreciate your honesty! I don’t think it works for many who try but I need to make this work. It is so different from what I thought it would be like. I still gotta kill that cobra! This is so recent, and still so overwhelming and new! I am on hyperviligence mode right now. I like my alone time as well! Thanks, my friend! xo.

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      1. Since you are talking about trading I assume that it has to be done during certain hours? The reason I ask is because when Einstein and I were living together we couldn’t both be the boss at the same time. We had to either go to separate rooms or take turns being in charge. While this didnt always work because while einstein is einstein, and it was HIS house, I think your hubby might be open to it?

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        1. Yep. He goes by New York time. The bell actually rings on the computer to begin and end the day! Since I wrote this, We got better headphones. We also have a don’t talk to me rule when the headphones are on. We each have our own desks and computers. A schedule doesn’t really fit for us… but he’s been open to many suggestions! Not a bit Einsteinish! It took time, but as I write this on March 5, we are working in tandem! All good!

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  1. Having both people home all day is definitely an adjustment. When my hubby first retired, we had some of the same issues, because while he was still in the military he traveled A LOT, and just when he would start to get on my nerves he’d have to leave on another trip. Once he retired, he was around all the time. As I said, it was an adjustment, but now we have our “work” schedule that we both try to adhere to, and then we spend the evenings together. It sounds like you guys share an office, so going your separate ways during your work hours might not be as easy as it is for us. Like you, I appreciate my hubby being around; I just need my own space sometimes too. I’m sure you guys will get it figured out. Just like everything else, it just takes a little trial and error. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Terri! So there is hope! I think we will figure it out, too. It has only been one week since he started working FT at home. We do share an office, no choice. But both of us are getting better about not interrupting each other. ‘Time.’ I will give it time. 😊💜

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  2. My partner & I are home together a lot…over the years we’ve developed some healthy boundaries, right now, he’s just walked through the door and I’ll be off to do some errands…he’s chomping at the bit so I’ll make this short (Lol!), I hope you both find ways to tame the cobra soon!

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  3. Although I am home every day and Joe goes to work, about a month after we moved in together, he had surgery and we had 3 months of 24 hours a day together in the apartment. I thought it would be tough, but it really wasn’t; we realized that we can be at home together for long stretches and make it work. I have the cobra as well, Kim and I just try and give Joe the heads up when I feel the strike coming. We still have our working spaces right next to each other and I find the use of headphones to be very useful. Sorry I don’t have more advice. I know this will work out well for you guys!

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    1. Thanks Susan! Good to hear it can be done. Yes, I try to send out a warning “hiss” but sometimes I just bite! I’ll work on a better warning. I agree with the headphones. Just the simple fact that they are a visible barrier is helpful. Ok. I can do this! 😊💜

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  4. I think that sort of arrangement would take some getting used to, but I also think it’s fab! I have no idea about trading, that’s waaaay over my head. I can get very agitated and cobra-like when my pain is spiked or my anxiety is up, which is quite often. I think working from home is a learning curve at the best of times, let alone when you add illness or learning to work alongside a partner to the mix. It’ll take time, like with setting boundaries and figuring what things work for you both, but you’ll get there. Sorry I can’t be very helpful on this one, Kim!!
    Caz xx


    1. It all helps! Even the folks who don’t do this or have tried and it didn’t work. I like hearing it all Caz. Yes, pain is a factor but also anxiety, maybe more so? Time and boundaries! I just got some noise canceling headphones! OMG! Helps a lot! And I downloaded TV streaming apps onto my iPod. I can watch a program without disturbering or being disturbed. I’m getting there for sure! It is definitely a learning experience. I’m game. xo


  5. Ken and I each have our own office space, which is a huge plus. We can be home together all day doing our separate things but we always plan, like “at 2 o’clock let’s take a break and do something together for a bit”. It works for us, but I know not everyone has the room for two “offices”.

    Liked by 3 people

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