My Apologies

I wrote a post about a night in my life recently where I made a decision that could've had dire consequences. I took that post down. The responses in the comments were very emotional. From fear based to downright anger with many passionate requests for me to seek some additional help, counseling, resources, etcetera. I... Continue Reading →

I Almost Lost.

As I sit here, this morning, I need to write about something that makes me feel weak. This results in a feeling of embarrassment and shame. But neither of these feelings are mine to own. What I just went through is a fact of depression, not the exception. While this is still fresh in my... Continue Reading →

Let’s Talk Smash Books!

What is a Smash Book? It is merely a scrapbook that you fill up with all the things that are in that box, under your bed, filled with notes, photos, and cards! The precious things that are important to you. The beauty of a Smash Book is there are no rules! I am not a... Continue Reading →

I Just Might Break

Today I am beginning this post with the hope of answering my own question. I believe I am struggling with coping. I don't know if it is the heat? The barometer? My medication? Or is it the overwhelming feeling of dread waiting for my body to flare once again. It is basically a fact with... Continue Reading →

Before I tripped Over a Stone, #9

I am working as a Psychiatric Technician on an adolescent crisis unit. Previous posts on this subject are as follows: Before I Tripped Over a Stone, Fridays, #8 Before I tripped OVera Stone, Fridays, #7 Before I Tripped Overa Stone, Fridays, #6 It was on the 5th day After "N" was released I was reporting for... Continue Reading →

Mind Field Monday

  Keep on fighting! https://youtu.be/EPJSkSn7rt0 Life is pain. Life's not fair. Don't give up on me! ~Kim

Before I Tripped Over a Stone, Fridays #7

(We are continuing from last weeks entry Before I Tripped Over a Stone, Fridays 6.) I have taken a position as a Psychiatric Technician (psych tech) and was just removed from completing my first admission on the unit. I have been told to wait in the Unit Director's office. As I'm sitting there, she comes in, looking furious, and says... Continue Reading →

Recovering…

I have been battling the last week but am recovering now. My husband only left my side to work. He made sure I never went without, that my cell phone was near so I could call him, and he sat in bed with me when he was home. I am so behind on reading my... Continue Reading →

It Matters to Him

My husband was a bit more concerned about this last little patch of depression I went through... he can't understand why I would ever doubt his love for me. He does know that depression is sneaky and it lies and that it is a disease that affects rational thinking. He knows it has to do with... Continue Reading →

Did You Know About Depression Flares?

Depression. It is said the third week in January is the worst for depression. I believe it. Also, I think once you have depression, a debilitating depressed mood can move in on you at any time of the year. Sneaky little mind trap just waiting to pounce and pull you into blackness. What does an increase... Continue Reading →

And on the 8th day, I slept.

At 0930 I received an automatic voice message this morning; "Thank you for filling your prescriptions with our pharmacy, we want you to know the prescription items you ordered have shipped." Today is the 8th day I have been without my medications. I had a few rescue medications that I was able to use, but for the... Continue Reading →

The Disease of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.

You have a disease, it used to be only an illness. There will not be a cure in your foreseeable future. You were so sure in the beginning this disease was just a temporary illness. You are on disability, you never wanted it. You ended up needing the money disability provides, but it is nowhere near... Continue Reading →

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