Did You Get ‘Woke’?

I had charts, dates, names, links, more charts, historical references… more bull shit than you could wade through in a month ready to go in an ‘awesome’ post. I would “teach” and I would “preach” and I would present factual data until I could prove to you that I am right. I could show you that I am enlightened, progressive, and educated! I am right, if you don’t agree with me, you are wrong…

This morning I took the following action by opening my ‘awesome’ post and clicking on “trash”. (Are you sure you want to delete this post?) Definitely.

A male simply walking behind a female will never know the reality of her instinctual fear that she may be physically harmed by him. A white American will never understand the reality of the instinctual fear a black American experiences when being pulled over by police. Anyone who promotes the notion that the color of your skin mandates your worth and opportunities in the United States of America -in this century- may need to rethink this. Skin color is a basic theory with very real historical empirical data. (Gender and religious affiliation also have historical data of bias.) My point is that one simple theoretical explanation for a complex, culturally significant experience is not sufficient.

I am white. I have nothing to apologize for. I’m not racist. I wasn’t born a racist. I certainly wasn’t taught to be a racist. I don’t need to be ‘woke’ and I will not be ‘cancelled’. I do not believe any ONE culture is superior to any other culture. I wholeheartedly admit I’m embarrassed to be white right now. I am disgusted that some white Americans are hijacking the Black Lives Matter peaceful protests. I am extremely disappointed so many whites think they can understand the vast and unique culture of any minority … because we can’t. 

We need to listen to comprehend, not figure out what our next comment will be. Learn to hear what is being said! We need to learn empathy not practice sympathy. No one is asking to be coddled. No one is asking for a saviour. No one is asking to be fixed… these are adults, grown people. They are not broken. They have a voice! Meet them with the same level of respect you would want shown. Don’t try to manipulate and define real issues unique to a culture, because positive and negative, these issues are culturally specific. In other words, quit ‘helping’because you are not! In fact, you were not even asked!

Us. Each. We. Unique and wonderful, tragic and sad, joyful and proud. It is what makes individuals capable of understanding humanity. We are able to empathise. Adults want to do better for themselves and their children. That may be the only thing that truly resonates with every culture, we will never question whether our children matter.

RIP

My mom passed away today. I will be taking a break to attend to family matters.

Minneapolis

This was my home. This is where I lived…

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This is what a protest looks like I’ve been told

This is justice for George Floyd I’ve been told.

I’ve been told, supposedly schooled, even screamed at.

But.

I don’t see justice. I know what I see. THIS is not justice.

I wonder what you will see when it comes to your city?

I have nothing left to say. ~k.

 

The Time to Pause

Recently, I returned to blogging after a short hiatus. While I was absent from blogging, the coronavirus enveloped the country… the world, in fact. People are unemployed, losing their homes, having a difficult time even maintaining the essential home grocery and cleaning items. The saddest part, people are dying.

Does anyone know what to do?

Are you busy cleaning closets, working out, and eating better? Isn’t that what you have said you’d do if ever you had the “time?” Did you complete that masterpiece you claimed you would because you are now at home? You may be working from home… and the kids are home with you… how is that working for you?

I believe we must be careful what we wish for!

This is the first time, in many of our lives, that a national quarantine has been made law for the American people. This is a ‘time to pause.’ This is a time to take stock of our world. The impact we have on it. The steps we may consider to make different choices in our lives very soon. Dare I say the time to pause could be a renaissance of sorts?

Dare I say? 

I want to impress the need for normalcy has not escaped us. Soon, there will be a media blitz pressuring us to do just that. Return to normal. What was your normal? What was mine? Do we want to make that normal relevant in our future? Is it even right to do that? Repeat the past?

I don’t have the answers. I just know I am taking this opportunity to pause and contemplate what I want to be present in my future…

I invite you to do the same.

~Kim

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No Pain Medication Allowed!

Hello.

It has been almost five months in my journey with no pain medication. How’s that working? Well, I’m still here. Many others are not. Their pain too great. Suicide rates are on the rise…

What is a flare like WITH the availability of a rescue pain medication, often called; The Evil Opioid?

A painful flare can be somewhat controlled and frequently curtailed with pain medication. The worst pain, treating it with an opioid, will last for two, possibly three days. At least for me. (Everyone is different). Pain medication allows you to get out of bed and function, appearing almost normal to friends and family. You will still be bedridden at the onset of a flare, but eventually, after a day or two of rescue medications, you will be able to carefully get up. You can join in life activities again with your pain levels decreased due to the opioid you take that was prescribed for you by your medical doctor. As your flare subsides, you taper off your rescue pain medication and prepare for the next excruciating episode. You are somewhat rested, mentally in a decent place, and the intense pain has subsided. You are ready to fight the next flare.

But.

What is a flare like WithOUT the availability of rescue pain medication (the evil opioid)?

This is a relatively common flare experience from what I’ve been told by others and what I, myself, go through;

The pain begins to go from the normal uncomfortable pain to the terrifying, body crushing pain. The intense pain that takes your breath away. There is no out. You know you’ll be in this amount of pain temporarily, but for how long can you take this extreme amount of pain? You are bed-bound but can’t sleep. If you attempt to get out of bed during this flare, you will more than likely lose your balance and take a tumble. You will probably pass out. (Yes, frequently I pass out from the intense flare pain.) You will be nauseous, you won’t be able to take deep breaths, you will cry. You wish you could just die. You take muscle relaxers, Tylenol, and Ibuprofen. Dumbs you down but doesn’t take away the pain. You take other over the counter medications you pray will help. You may try to use alcohol to self-medicate. The fog rolls in… you are experiencing cognitive difficulties now. Fibro Fog. You can’t put a sentence together, you get lost going from one room to the next. You are entirely unable to help yourself in any capacity. You may be on your way to the emergency room. (I don’t go anymore because I was called a ‘drug seeker.’) Finally, after one week or two… possibly more, the crushing pain ceases and regular pain returns. The fog lifts. You are physically exhausted, mentally spent, and dreading the next painful flare because it will come again. It always does…

But! You are opioid-free!

I haven’t been a medication abusing addict, ever. I’ve used opioids for twenty years, as directed, but what the hell do I know? I’m just an adult, chronic pain, patient. I read medication labels and follow those directions. (Yes, there are directions on every bottle, and they are quite simple to follow.) Now, I have had my access taken from me. Some individuals don’t follow the directions on the label. They take more than directed and/or steal them from those that have this medication prescribed for their pain. These abusers have ruined my right to access readily available pain management medication. I’ve been denied the fundamental right to medicine that provides me comfort, reducing the extreme pain I experience because of my diagnosis.

What’s the big deal?

So, I’m not going to die from severe pain just because I do not have access to pain management medications. This is basically a quality of life issue. Not having access drastically reduces my quality of life! These pain management medications are available! It’s like saying there are antibiotics you need to fight the flu, but you aren’t going to receive any because there are those who misuse this medication. There are too many people taking these antibiotics irresponsibly; therefore, you must suffer through the flu for as long as it takes. Realistically you get the flu once a year. What if you got it every month? Does that seem like a sound decision to deny you access to a medication that would curtail the severity? What would your quality of life be like? It would suck. That, my friends, is the big deal!

Does this make sense to anyone? We do not have an opioid problem in this country! We have an addiction problem!!! (Addicts also need the right kind of help with their disease.) The next time you hear about the ‘opioid epidemic,’ please speak up and set the record straight! 

img_0456~Kim

What About You? (Sunday Quick Questions #44)

We answer ‘quick questions’ here on I Tripped Over a Stone on Sundays.

Why? 

Because… I blog. I get sick of me. I want to hear from you!

Don’t think, just answer!

  1. What is something you do, just for fun?
  2. Name one song that you can’t help singing along with when it comes on the radio. (Does it annoy you or not?)
  3. Tell me one thing people honestly believe about you; that is absolutely not true.

img_1094-1~Kim

  1. I love sledding! I absolutely love it. My hubby brought home a red plastic sled, and we made a ‘jump’ in the backyard, and we slide until we freeze! (I haven’t run across snow this year yet, though.) Pure fun!
  2. Havana!!! (by Camila Cabello). It doesn’t annoy ME… but since I make up words to the parts I don’t know, it probably annoys everyone else. (My husband just laughs and says he will never need an iPod, he has me!)
  3. Honestly, people think I’m very organized. Truly. I am the farthest thing from organized!!! Gosh, don’t open a closet door! I’m better now that we downsized… no, I’m really still a mess! HA!

Shoot the Hostage

I like to think I am prepared for almost every situation. Safety first is what I’m about! Let’s say you find yourself in a ‘hostage’ situation. Hey! It could happen. Back to the issue at hand… If you are ever in a hostage situation, and you are armed, “Shoot the hostage!” Well, ‘maim,’ (don’t kill the hostage), take out a knee, basically, drop the hostage, then you got yourself a bad guy! Brave face, take no prisoners, shoot first, ask questions later. That’s how I roll!  After all, it’s better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.

Right?

I don’t know about you, but it exhausts me to even read that first paragraph. How the hell did I live that way? Sounds exciting. Then again, so does snake charming. It’s just not for everyone. It’s certainly not for me. Anymore.

Try to like the simple things; a rainbow, a hummingbird, soft music, and fuzzy slippers… just kidding! I am not dead, people! I still have a little sass in my bossy pants!

Put on your sassy, bossy pants!!!

I enjoy nasty thunderstorms! I yearn to hunt with the majestic eagle! I will air guitar my way through Back in Black! I will proudly wear my combat boots if I still had those (damn). I will proudly wear my flip flops!

Furthermore…

I’ll have a beer with my hotdog at a BBQ. I will have a warm pretzel with mustard while at a hockey match. Movie theatre popcorn rocks! (Yes, I want more fake butter on mine, please!) There is nothing better than an ice-cold Coca-Cola on a hot summer day. I will have that Coke and a smile!

My sassy, bossy pants are intact… are yours?

(I have no plans to shoot a hostage any time soon.)

Life was meant to be lived! Not lived through.

Live your best life!

img_0456~Kim

Check this out, “Don’t Make it Wierd.”

I recently happened upon a great blog! OK, ‘Grace,’ aka ‘Karen,’ aka ‘Karen Grace,’ at MSGraceful…NOT! reblogged an incredible post by this blogger. I was reading this post, and I felt understood!!! I agreed with his words. I agreed with the sentiment. I was utterly gobsmacked when I finished reading the post! (And I continue to re-read this incredible post!)

Sam at Don’t Make it Wierd is not to be missed!

Check out  Taking Stock of Positives and Possibilities!  Click on that title!!!

Don’t forget to come back here and tell me what you think! Did it speak to you? Hurry, I have to know!!!

img_0456~Kim

 

1963

In 1963, Martin Luther King delivered the following speech…

I hope you take the time to really read this iconic peace of literature in its entirety.

We remember you, Martin Luther King Jr.

~Kim

Protecting the 1st Amendment OR Allowing Abusive Posts by WordPress Blogger?

I have something significant to ask you.

  • Should a person be allowed to write ‘how-to’ manuals about how to abuse women?
  • Should this person be allowed to publish these ‘how-to’ posts on a public blog?
  • Should this person be allowed to follow women bloggers who are writing about their escape from an abusive past?

WordPress believes this is a freedom of speech issue. I think this is definitely an issue! The issue is abusive behavior!!! Some behaviors, written or no, are flat out WRONG.


Read this excerpt…

“Anyone else who has also experienced rape, assault, abuse, stalking, or anything similar is likely screaming at the computer screen as much as I did when I read that myself. Admittedly, the support people probably were not prepared for the words I had to say, which, I’m proud to say, were righteously indignant but also respectful. But the reality is that we live in a society and a time where victims of crimes are often more afraid to report the crime than they are to live with it, and where there still is lacking a basic understanding of the psychology of trauma from the viewpoint of the victim.”

To read the full story, and it is unfolding RIGHT NOW with WordPress…

Click here, on Gwen’s site:

https://thekintsukuroilife.blog/2020/01/11/it-was-almost-the-end/


I hope you are as outraged as I am.

I have no more words.

img_0456~Kim

If You Grow

I can’t remember exactly when it was…

One of my sisters was getting ready for her third or was it the fourth parade that summer as Queen of such and such. (It seemed as one or the other was always crowned ‘something!’) The other was helping her primp. I was just sitting at the table watching all the frenzied crowns, gowns, and sash adjustments. My mother turned to me and said, “Well, you didn’t get the looks, but you got the brains.”

I didn’t realize at the time that those words were a gift. Those words meant I could do anything! Be anything! I just couldn’t be ‘pretty.’ To a teenage girl, I admit those words stung at the time.

I have two sisters and three brothers. I guess they are all brilliant in their own way. I must have some sort of brilliance within me by default? I mean, I came from the same genetic pool they did.

So I grew into adulthood and knew I had to use my brains to get somewhere in this world! Obviously, I couldn’t rely on my looks or lack thereof. My mom burst that bubble while I was still young enough to do something about it. Funny how I now look back at that as a defining moment. I appreciate those words now.

So I learned to hustle! I learned how to learn. I was hungry for success and never stopped until I met my goal. I wrote many posts about my life before I became chronically ill. Most of you might remember reading the “Before I Tripped Over a Stone” series. Life was never dull for me.

When you are raised to be a ‘do’er’ and that gets taken away from you, your identity suffers in crisis. Who are you if you can’t do what you know how to do? What good are you to anyone? Do you have any worth now that you are broken? Devastation sets in…

We can approach this devastation in one of two ways. The first way is to fight back with everything you have inside you. The second way is just giving up. How does that look? How will you feel about yourself if you just give up? Certainly nothing ‘pretty’ about that! Let’s not give up. We will fight!

There is one crucial thing you must do while you are engaged in battle. Many of us have not or could not stop long enough to say goodbye to our previous selves. We are so busy fighting! We simply forgot to say goodbye and grieve for the part of our selves we lost to our illness. We need to say goodbye to the person we were, grieve that person for as long as it takes, then welcome the person that we are now, even in our broken state.

Why?

Anything can change the periphery of our lives in an instant! In one hot second, you can go from life to death, healthiness to illness, rich to poor. In a moment, life can change. In a moment, life usually does change.

Who is this new person staring at you every morning in the mirror? Are they kind? Are they a warrior? Are you caring for this new you? Are you kind to your new self? Do you realize you get to live two lifetimes in this one life…?

Have you grieved?

 

img_0456~Kim

My Christmas Present to You!

This is incredible!!!

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New year!

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